May 2, 2010

Getting called a "Faggot" while doing a Time Trial


The funniest TT I have ever raced = Estacada TT

I woke with menstrual cramps and all the usual tired/sore/slow things that come along with that, and downed 3 Alleve.

Lesson number 1= don't expect to be on top of your game with 3 Alleve hitting your brain.

I had a couple nice goals, and since I had the Cervelo out I thought I could race pretty well (it is about the bike).

I was doing pretty fine until mile 12 (of 20), when a passing car decided to have the passenger lean out the window as they were passing me and yell "Faggot!" in my face. I held my line and decided that was the funniest thing I had ever been called in a race, and was happy to find out I look just as gay on the bike as I do off the bike :)

Lesson number 2= Don't let passing cars asshole screams throw you off your game

The side effect however that was my drug induced Alleve brain went on all kinds of tangents thinking about gender and queerness and drag queens.... and all of a sudden a Veloforma girl in full skin suit, aero helmet, million dollar TT bike, etc., passes me on the left, and I yell "GO VELOFORMA!". Then it occured to me: WAIT, this is a race, I'm supposed to be racing right now! I looked at my computer: mile 15. I had lolligagged for 3 miles day dreaming about gayness pretending it was a Sunday ride. Naturally I stepped on the gas and caught up to Veloforma, wondering if I should pass her back or not. Pass I did, easily, since I had just "rested" for three miles, and I put my full throttle into the last 5 miles. I held off Veloforma girl the entire 5 miles, and finished ahead of her. She must think I am a total asshole letting her pass me and yelling "GO VELOFORMA", only to immediately pass her back and hold her off on my road bike and non TT set up.

Lesson number 3= Don't cheer for a Veloforma girl when she passes you and then pass her right back.

Finish time 1hr 3 minutes... I think I probably lost 4-5 minutes in my "tangent", which means if I had actually remembered it was a race, I probably could have cleaned up at under an hour.

Too funny.